I Can't
by Kairikiani
Summary: Naruto doesn't love Hinata. He wants to. She seems like a great person to fall in love with. But he can't. Rated T for language. Contains unrequited Naruto/Sakura, unrequited Hinata/Naruto, and unrequited Shino/Hinata (if you squint).


Author's Note: This is a meaningless drabble I wrote to procrastinate doing real work. Basically, I was wondering why Naruto would go so amazingly long without giving Hinata a reply to her confession. From what I can tell, though he can be thoughtless sometimes, Naruto cares a lot about his friends, so it seemed out of character for him to do that to Hinata. This is my paltry attempt to reconcile his character with his actions.

One warning- I haven't actually watched all of Naruto, so I may get a few things wrong. For instance, I know that some people spell Pein as Pain, but I'm going with the first spelling just because. Also, I don't know the exact amount of time between the attack on Konoha and the Kage Summit, but for the sake of the story I'm going to assume it's at least a few months. Also, I am submitting this while I am mildly sleep deprived, so forgive me if I do something stupid like a typo.

* * *

It had been a hot day, the kind where the air felt like steam and concrete burned at the touch. Naruto must have made his way around Konoha three times by now, helping patch up walls, rebuild houses, and pretty much fix anything Pein's attack had wrecked. He even helped restore a bit of the Hokage monument, which, considering his history of defacing it, felt very strange. With the sun as hot as it was, construction work had been brutal, but it had been worth it to see the villagers' grateful faces.

Technically Naruto was supposed to be resting. But he couldn't exactly lie around while everybody else worked. For one thing, all his old hangouts were either closed for repairs or had been smashed into an unrecognizable pile of concrete and wood. Second, the thought of reading comic books while his friends cleaned up his mess made Naruto feel queasy inside. They'd all risked their lives for him…some more than others.

He winced as the memory of that day flashed through his head. The metal rods jammed into his chakra pathways. Pein's dead-looking eyes staring down at him. Hinata flying up in the air like a rag doll…He owed her a hell of a lot more than helping out with clean up duty.

Naruto shook his head. He wished he had a bit more daylight left. Working out in the sun had been exhausting, but at least it had kept his mind off of things. He leapt off of a semi-intact restaurant and onto the roof of his apartment complex. The setting sun stretched out the water tank's shadow so that it covered nearly half the roof. He slumped over to the water tank and sat down on the wooden scaffolding holding it up. Then he brought out his canteen for a hard-earned drink.

"Naruto."

"Ah!" Naruto's canteen went flying as he sprang into a defensive stance. He turned towards the voice, whipping out a kunai in each hand. "Who's there?"

A tall figure stepped out of the shadows. He was dressed in a green hooded jacket, a thick shirt with a high collar, and baggy black pants. His face was obscured by his shirt, and his eyes were hidden by wraparound sunglasses, but in spite of that, Naruto felt like he'd seen the guy before.

The other ninja stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Are you still having trouble recognizing your friends, Naruto?"

Yes. Yes he was. "No, of course not. You just surprised me is all."

"I waved."

"Sorry, I guess I didn't see you." Now Naruto remembered. This was Hinata's teammate, the creepy bug guy. Damn it, what _was_ his name? "So what up, uh…Shibo?"

The other boy didn't respond.

"Shino! I meant to say Shino!"

Though Shino didn't move a muscle, Naruto could practically smell the irritation coming off of him. Damn it. Could this conversation get any more awkward?

"I have come to speak with you. What about? Why you haven't been to the hospital since Pein's attack."

Yes. The conversation could get much more awkward. "Heheh. Well, you know. Thanks to the Kyuubi's chakra, I heal pretty quickly..."

"Are you sure? You do not have any brain damage?"

Naruto's eye twitched. "Oy."

"In case you did not realize, those of us who are not jinchiruki need more than a few days to heal." Shino turned slightly so that he was looking out over southern Konoha. "Hinata is still in the hospital."

Naruto picked up his canteen, then sat down on the water tank scaffolding. This was going to be a long conversation. "Look, I never asked her to get involved in the fight."

"And yet she did. For your sake."

Naruto flinched. Geez this guy knew how to guilt trip. "I'm sorry. I tried to protect her. I really did."

"I am not the one you should be apologizing to."

Naruto opened his canteen and took a long drink of water. He knew this conversation had been a long time coming, but this was not what he'd been expecting. He'd thought Kiba would tackle him one day, yell at him for a few hours, then finish off with well-placed punch to the jaw. When Kiba never showed up, Naruto thought he'd gotten lucky. But now that he was being interrogated by the village's most passive aggressive ninja, he was definitely doubting that luck.

"Naruto, I know for a fact that you have not had any missions for the past three days." There was a pause. "Is your pride so great that you cannot give Hinata a single apology?"

"Oh cut the crap!" Naruto snapped. Shino's eyebrows shot up, and Naruto felt a twinge of guilt. Only a twinge though. A guy could only take so much. "You know why I haven't talked to her yet."

Shino's shoulders shifted ever so slightly. "It had been almost three weeks. Do you really need that long to sort out your feelings towards Hinata?"

Naruto brought his canteen up for another drink, only to discover it was empty.

"You can't run from this, Naruto."

Naruto tossed the canteen to the ground. Then he tilted his head back to look at the darkening sky. "I'm not running. I'm…thinking."

There was a flash of movement in the corner of Naruto's eye. Suddenly Naruto was staring up into Shino's lenses, his sweaty face reflected back to him two-fold. Naruto jerked back, nearly hitting his head against the water tank. _Damn_ this guy could be creepy.

"You haven't seriously considered accepting Hinata's affections even once, have you?" said Shino, his voice crisp and cold.

That wasn't true. Actually, he spent nearly every day wondering what it would be like to date Hinata. Eating ramen with her at Ichiraku's. Telling her stupid jokes and watching her double over giggling. Walking down the street as they reminisced about the Academy. Dating her would be nice. Really nice.

But though Naruto could think up a hundred things for them to do, every time he tried to picture how a specific date would go, his imagination went fuzzy. He could picture her purple jacket and her hair, but never her face. And when he imagined Hinata talking, her words came out in his own voice, like she was a puppet and he was the ventriloquist. She was always just a girl-shaped image he was with – never actually Hinata.

"I would highly recommend at least giving Hinata a chance. Why do I say this?" Shino paused for a half second. "Many reasons. She is kind. She is intelligent. She is from a high-ranking clan. She is a strong warrior. She is physically attractive. She-"

"She's perfect! I know!" Naruto leaned forward and ran his hands through his hair. "You don't have to give me a freaking shopping list."

"Then why haven't you spoken with her yet?"

Before Naruto could answer, he heard a door creak open. Naruto and Shino looked at each other. Seriously? Had somebody been listening in and neither of them noticed?

"Sakura, you said Naruto was going to be here!" said Ino's muffled voice from the apartment complex's patio.

Very slowly, Naruto and Shino snuck up to the roof's edge. They watched from the shadows as Sakura came onto the patio. She was carrying what looked like a medical pack. Damn it, did Shino's lecture cause him to miss a visit from Sakura?

"He should be here!" Sakura shifted her medical pack to her other arm. "That idiot. He's supposed to be resting. How am I supposed to give him a check up if he keeps disappearing like this?"

Ino nudged Sakura with her elbow. "Mmm? You're awfully eager to give him the nurse treatment, aren't you?"

Sakura made a face. "Ino, don't even joke like that. I'm just worried about him is all. It's been three week's since Pein's attack, and he hasn't come to the hospital for a single check up."

Ino wagged her eyebrows. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Yes!" Sakura paused. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I love Naruto like a brother. But he's very…he's just so…he's…" Sakura gestured vaguely with her hand as she tried to search for a way to describe Naruto.

"Not Sasuke?" said Ino. Sakura bit her lip. Ino put an arm around her friend. "Don't worry. I understand." The girls chatted quietly as they made their way down the stairwell.

Naruto grit his teeth. For once in his life, he was jealous of Shino's knack for hiding his emotions. Of all the things for that bastard to see…

Shino coughed lightly. When he spoke, his voice was irritatingly gentle. "Naruto, I dislike being the bearer of bad news, but-"

Naruto ignored him, tramping back to the water tower. He lied down on the scaffolding and stared at the stars.

Shino watched him silently for a few seconds before continuing. "It does not seem as if Sakura will ever return your affections."

Naruto rolled over so his back was facing Shino. He saw from the reflection on the water tank that Shino didn't move.

"Naruto. Would it not be wiser to pursue the girl who cares for you rather than the one who clearly does not?"

Naruto closed his eyes and didn't answer. Shino waited. Naruto still didn't answer.

"Tch. I don't understand why you insist on chasing after that girl when Hinata-"

"Damn it Shino, you don't know what it's like to love a girl like Sakura!" Naruto flung himself off the scaffolding and stood up. "I've loved her since the Academy. I'd die for her. But she'll never love me back, so all I can do is watch as she tears herself up over a bastard who treats her like dirt!" He glared at Shino, breathing heavily. "It hurts, Shino. It really freaking hurts."

The air was quiet for a second, and Naruto could hear a faint buzzing sound. It was getting dark quickly. He could barely see Shino's face. But he could see the faint outlines of Shino's hands as his fingers curled into fists. Shino's knuckles cracked, one after the other. "Naruto," he said in a soft, strained voice, "I would not recommend making assumptions about what I do or do not feel."

At this point, Naruto was too ticked off to be intimidated. "Damn it Shino, I'm not saying you don't have emotions! I'm saying that the rest of us can't control them like you can. I can't help what I feel."

The buzzing grew louder. Naruto couldn't see Shino's eyes, but he could feel the weight of the other boy's glare. "There is a difference between controlling one's emotions and experiencing them."

"I can't force myself to love Hinata, Shino!" Naruto walked up so that he was right in Shino's face. "I want to. God knows she deserves it. But. I. Can't."

After a pause, Shino straightened out of his slouch and looked down at Naruto. "She _deserves _an answer."

Naruto glared up at Shino. Damn it. It was really hard to intimidate someone when they were nearly half a foot taller than you. "Well I can't give her one."

Shino adjusted his goggles. "It is very unlike you, to have such a long list of what you _can't _do."

"Look, think about it from Hinata's perspective. She's loved me since we were in the Academy together. During the fight, she - she practically told me I was her reason for being a ninja. If I go in there and say "Hey, you're awesome, but I love somebody else", that…" Naruto stepped back and looked to the ground. "…that would crush her."

"She's stronger than you think."

Naruto sighed. "Hinata saved my life. I can't humiliate her by rejecting her like that. She deserves better."

There was a long pause as Shino seemed to consider Naruto's words. He turned and faced the Hokage Monument. "You really are an idiot."

"But I'm an idiot who's right."

"No. Just an idiot." He paused. "Naruto, do you remember that incident when you graffitied the Hokage monument?

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Shino stared. Naruto turned to look at the monument. The faces seemed to glare back at him. "Nobody's ever going to let me live that down, are they? Look, I wasn't stupid. I was just trying to get attention."

"Even if that attention came in the form of irate clan heads and a summons to the Hokage's office?"

"Okay, it probably wasn't the smartest way to go about it, but it was the only way I could get people to look at me."

"So you would have rather received negative attention than go about your day being ignored."

Naruto shrugged. "I know it sounds messed up, but it's true. At least when they were rejecting me, they were acknowledging I existed." His face grew hot. Why did talking about his childhood always have to be so embarrassing? "Whatever. What does this have to do with anything? Aren't we supposed to be talking about me and Hina…ta…"

And then it hit Naruto like a ton of bricks. He'd assumed that if he let her be, Hinata would eventually understand that he was trying to spare her feelings. But she had always been so down on herself, always assuming the worst…"Shit. She doesn't think I forgot about her, does she?"

"That is one of her more…optimistic theories."

Naruto dug his fingernails into his scalp. Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Even without doing anything, he still made Hinata miserable. "She must hate me now."

"Naruto, I think you and I both know that that is impossible."

Naruto looked back at Shino. Sadly, he was probably right. Hinata would be blaming herself right now, not him. "Shit. I am an idiot."

Shino nodded, as if to say 'finally something we can agree on'. He opened his coat and pulled out a small bouquet of flowers. Naruto stared at him.

"Why do I have these? Because lilacs are Hinata's favorite flower, and that room of hers smells too much like antiseptic." Shino held the flowers out to him.

Naruto looked at the hospital. Nearly half of the windows were dark. "But it's nighttime."

"The hospital's visiting hours don't end until 9 o'clock."

Naruto looked at the flowers. "I don't really know what to say though."

"Just tell her what's in your heart."

Naruto did a double take. That had sounded like something Rock Lee would say. But it had come out of Shino's mouth. He shook his head. He didn't understand anything anymore.

"Fine." He grabbed the lilacs. "Here's hoping I don't make an idiot of myself."

"I wouldn't worry. It's already too late for that."

Naruto made a face at Shino. "Smart ass." Then he ran to the edge of the roof facing the hospital. But before he jumped, he thought of something and stopped. "Oy, Shino?"

The other boy dipped his head and sighed. "What now?"

"Thanks. You're a good friend."

And with that, Naruto made his way towards the hospital, off to reject the girl of his dreams.

* * *

Author's Note: As always, I hope you liked the story. Or if you didn't like the story, I hope that it at least entertained you. Or something like that. As always, I love reviews of all kinds, from the "nice story bro"s to the five paragraph rants on why Naruhina will win out in the end. Whatever floats your boat.


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